Saturday, October 3, 2015

Audition

Actors are passed out these cards, in large type, their powers and flaws:

0. Cretaceaous swampside

TYRANNOSAURUS
You have a bit bite
Talks when mouth full

weakness; tiny forelimbs

TRICERATOPS
Horned face, bangs into the things, cant reach objects. Stubby feet.
Wants to get rid of the Brontosaurus

weakness: no hands

BRONTOSAURUS
Really big
Wants to get rid of other plant eaters

weakness: wants to leave the swamp and go the big town and see the lights

ALIEN VISITOR
You have a flying saucer
Evolving ray beam: just singular body parts

weakness: electricity, batteries get drained


1. Midgard

THOR
You have a magical Storm Hammer
Must act as if Thor is in drag.

weakness: Will never back down from a challenge.

LOKI
Can change into a salmon, a mare, a seal or a fly
Must tell lies wherever possible.

Weakness: Brags

RAVEN




JORMUNGANDR
Gigantic, large enough to strangle a world
Must dislike gods, and want to strangle worlds.

Weakness: substance abuse, see *Marilyn


2. Iron-Age

EVE
You can fly around
Must be incorporeal

Weakness: when speaking, only in questions...

GABRIEL
Really, really tough
Sees the world as black and white.

Weakness: Jesus sycophant

JESUS
Everyone loves you
Asks everyone about "their sins"

Weakness: reckless says, "I live, I die, I live again!" from MadMax.


3. Iron Age Apocalypse

DISEASE
Kill and terrify a lot of people
Must Target some civilization

Weakness: some survive, immune

ZOMBIES
Kill and terrify a lot of people of people after disease, killing off more of the immune.
Must targert individual people and bite them

Weakness: can be shot in the head

DEATH
Rides a horse, has a long, long cape
Can kill with a touch

Weakness: Ennui


4. Romanization

JULIUS CEASAR
I came, I saw, I conquered

weakness: Paranoid

NERO
Must perversely torture people

weaknesss: Scatter brained, hallucinates

GLADIATOR
Can do fight stunts
Has armor and sword

weakness: illiterate, superstitious

HANNIBAL
Has a huge army of Elephants
Has a lot of money

weakness: wants to destroy NERO and/or JULIUS


5. German folklore

MEDIEVAL KING or QUEEN
Owns a kingdom
Has minions, must order them around abusively

weakness: has no heir, obnoxious and stuck up

KING OF THE FAIRIES
Magic Horn: summons fairy warriors
After a bit, must utter a Magic Spell that takes everyone to his fairy kingdom

weakness: trusts the Queen

QUEEN OF THE FAIRIES
Has a treasure trove of magic items
Must assasinate the King

weakness: administrative duties

PRINCESS OF THE FAIRIES
Venusian, bombshell
Has minions, mostly small cute mammals

weakness; Nieve, slutty


6. English Restoration Comedy

OLIVER CROMWELL
Has an army in reality
Must act like English Hitler...dictator with an English accent. Preferably Cockney

weakness: everyone else hates him

SHAKESPEARE
Has lines to give to people to say:
A.Good night, good night. Parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.

B.Brevity is the soul of wit.

C. Out, out damn spot

D. The course of true love never did run smooth

E. “Conscience is but a word that cowards use,
Devis'd at first to keep the strong in awe:
Our strong arms be our conscience, swords our law.
March on, join bravely, let us to't pell-mell;
If not to heaven, then hand in hand to hell

F. “Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit.” 
Must direct them to say the line again, better

weakness: wants to act, so alternative giving a line to someone, then saying his/her own line

SATAN
Teleportation, Planar Traval
Must tell lies

weakness: can be trapped, imprisoned, chained, etc.

GEORGE WASHINGTON
Has a horse and musket
everyone loves him

weakness: 6 shots, one every 25 seconds.


7. Moderns

CTHULHU
Gigantic, liquid form that is almost Gaseous
Must get busy as you just woke up after bjillions of years of sleeping

weakness: the Eldar Sign, or being punctured

GODZILLA
Gigantic, Atomic Breath
Must destroy everything in sight

weakness: always loses the first fight

JAMES BOND
Lucky, action stunts
Must use tricky device...just make it up

weakness: other agents in really good drag

DRACULA
Super strong
Can become gaseous, or a bat, or a wolf

weakness: sunlight, or really really bright lights, like stadium lights or lasers


8. Science Fiction

CAPTAIN KIRK
Double fisted punch
Must interfere in what everyone else is doing

weakness: really good alien drag

SPOCK
Vulcan mind meld
Nerve Pinch

weakness: its "ponfar", or mating season

DARTH VADER
Armor
Light Saber

weakness: can be broken down into pieces (like Holy Grail Knight)

PAUL MAUD DID (GIANT SPACE BENDING SANDWORM)
Gigantic
Stupidly Aggressive

weakness: easily manuvered, you know, the trick on its back

35 character cards

Also:
There is an x number (9 tops, one for each genre) of wild cards which are all:

DOPPLEGANGER
Form must emerges from the "plane of existence" pretending to belong...
then soon enough, must change form to be like anyone else after that

Weakness: cleptomaniac, or mass murderer

PROCESS

Three booths on a folding table, wherein, the player moves first to the Red Booth, then the Green booth, then the Blue booth, and then out.

The Director describes the "worlds"

0. Dinosaurs
1. Midgard
2. Iron-Age
3. Apocalypse
4. Romanization (Mad Max post apoc)
5. German Folklore
6. English Restoration
7. Moderns
8. Science Fiction (Space Travel)

Each world is explored for roughly 5 minutes...

Whenever the Director interrupts the clock stops.

Audition should last about 2-3 hours, depending on how many people show up!


Scoring shall be:
Strategy Schmategy, Leeroy Jenkins, You got the Plan, Gambit Roulette (where players diverge in plans), Confusion Fu, Indy Ploy, Calvin Ball (crazy plan with no real expectation itll work).

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